Sunday, February 10, 2013

My mask shatters each and every day, my mind screaming for me to cry my feelings to those who hurt or anger me. This mask I have worn for so long...forgetting to take it off at night makes even my dreams hellish to glimpse, making it hard to sleep with my demons so close.




I’m talking to someone who really likes me. He makes me smile and laugh. Talking to him comes easy but I’m not looking for anything at all. I’m really scared, the closer we get to know each other is another step closer to me having to tell him about my past. It’s not something I can avoid talking about because it affects everything. Down to whether or not I can handle a hug that day. I’m really scared because I don’t know what to do if I really start liking him. I’m scared of the future. Just thinking about another man even touching me makes me sick to my stomach...........

2 comments:

Shadow said...

GR i am sorry that your past changed your views over love, sex and intimacy. If you do end up liking him, and he likes you too I am sure he will respect your boundaries and be compassionate towards you.If he can make you feel better then he will understand your pain too.

STEPHANIE J. GATES said...

Black women have to tell our stories--ALL of them so that we can move beyond the pain and the shame.