Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Me and my birth mother talked today only about the situation with my father. She cried, I didn’t because I know that she will forever be a narcissists, they show no empathy for other people, only empathy on how that person is going to affect them....
I put on his coat as if he was wearing another one. I sat outside on The porch waiting for him to walk down the street from his daily Walks.
I blinked and realized that he’s not going to walk down that road.
I realized that he’s not here right now.
Every time I look at his car my heartbreaks.
It breaks because he’s not here. It breaks for the times I was angry at Him and slammed that door.
It breaks for the times he’s never ever turned his back on me.
It breaks because of everything he left for us.
It breaks worse than heartbreak.
The last time I saw him, he looked at me and opened his eyes.
And the look he gave me was saying to let him go
I didn’t tell anyone else about
This look because I did not want to discourage them.
I hear a car horn and turned my head looking for my dad and then I Saw his car parked in the driveway
Tears poured down my face
As I try to "keep it together"
Every time I see a car like his
I get excited but I know it’s not
Him behind the wheel.....