Sunday, January 22, 2012

My tipping point was when I later found out why everyone left the hospital (while I was in labor, after only staying for 30 minutes). Because my mother didn’t want to sit in the hospital all night.

Lady you really can’t be serious. I’m in labor with your first grandchild and the only thing you can think of is what you don’t want to do.
And this, when I think about it, made me wonder what the hell is wrong with my mother. Seriously, all jokes aside what is mentally wrong with her that she can [chooses not to] function as an adult.

Through my long road to recovery, I realize that I will never be healed of the abuse until I find what the root of the problem is. And that would be my parents, especially my dysfunctional mother.

I had just learned that my mother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. In some ways, we are all narcissistic but in a healthy way. She on the other hand pushes towards the evil side of the spectrum. She is a malignant narcissist. Which I will go into detail later on.

As I look over my childhood, I see how my parents dropped the ball with me [as my husband would say]. And this is 100% true. I’m just now coming to terms with this.

It’s just a relief to know that there is an explanation and that I am not crazy.