Cause the only love you knew was neglect and abuse, But it didn’t matter what it was cause it was still love to you. Didn’t matter what he did, Cause he was still kissing and hugging you. Call you bitch, hoe, and slut, But he still rubbing and touching you. And the way that you grew up, This is what loved ones would do.

Ugh………so not feeling good right now. This whole week it feels like my body is off balance. Like I just feel dirty and so violated right now. I hate being on my period, there’s nothing that I like about it especially the bleeding part of it. I feel like there are 1 million hands moving all over my body at the same time. I had just looked down at my nails and almost threw up because I felt so disgusted by them. I wish I had peace of mind right now. My stomach is upset. God I used to hate wearing sanitary napkins when I was in high school. The sight of blood never used to gross me out or anything like that until I met Frank and he would never rape me when I was on my period thank god but he would touch my vagina and it always turned my stomach because I still has the sanitary pad on.

Being on my period just triggers it every time for me and I just want to cry about it. Something natural as having a period every month just makes me disgusted with my own body. I had the same problem after I had my daughter and you bleed 6 weeks after you have a baby and can’t use tampons. Wearing pads then turned my stomach. the only things that were going through my head was how nasty I felt when he kept touching me and I’m just not really feeling anything right now but pain, tears and hurt and I just want it to stop before I go to work. I’m excited about going to work but I just don’t like the way I’m feeling right now………